Wednesday, March 4, 2009

.......... and the snow glistened

This morning I lost someone dear to me. My grandma Marie joined our Father in heaven. Granted technically she is my step grandma, but honestly I have never thought her of anything and other then my grandma. Granted the relationship I have with my step dad is less then ideal. I have always loved his mother. She was the most amazing women. A mother of fourteen, a farmer's wife. My grandma was strong and loving. She loved each and every one of us wholely, never discrimating, always telling us how much she loved us. I sware every family event she attended I am sure she went around to everyone and made sure they knew they were loved. She moved non stop, always smiling, always moving forward and had such a great will to live. To have life. She fought hard and survived through some pretty tough times. Granted her health was not great but each and every time she was determined to come home.
Last evening after my mom had called to say that grandma had taken a turn for the worse. I quickly called a friend to come and sit with my sleeping babies. Kenneth and I trudged out into the cold air to go to the hospital. It was time to say goodbye. When I arrived at the hospital I could not bare to go in until my mom and brothers and sisters had arrived. I struggled with my mind and heart. My mind was whirring , what was I going to tell my grandma? Soon my mom arrived and Kenneth and I went in to see her. My body shaking as I walked the hall, my heart breaking seeing her hooked to life support so that we could have the opportunity to say goodbye. I couldn't bare to say goodbye just yet.
I went to sit beside her and looked at this women. This women who did not resemble my grandma. I closed my eyes and in my mind I could see her bustling around as I wanted to remember her always.
Time was ticking away and it was now after 1AM. Tons of family had been arriving over the last few hours and I was ready to say goodbye. Feeling stronger and content. I again walked the hall to her room and leaned down close to her ear and whispered how much she meant to me and I loved her and knew it was time for her to return to her father in heaven. I had been scared to touch her because I had been told her body was cool to the touch, and she was a wonderful warm hearted person. Honestly I could never remember a time where my grandma ever felt remotely cool. But as I leaned close to her ear whispering I could feel the warmth on her face. I kissed her cheek touched her head and rugged her hair and said goodbye.
Leaving the hospital the air was crisp and cold. Snow was barely falling, but it sparkled like glitter. I will never forget how much it glistened.

1 comment:

Michael said...

You brought tears to my eyes. How wonderful that you were able to say goodbye is such a peaceful way. It's such a blessing to know that the is now healthy and with family on the other side. Do her Temple work in a year it will be wonderful I am sure. Love You.